Should I date my co-worker or not?

Question:

I’ve been working for this company now for about a month and I’m actually starting to have a crush on this guy I work with. we talk whenever I see him at work, we also joke and have fun as well. I’ve tried flirting with him by calling him “honey,” I also touch him slightly whenever I walk by next to him, and I’ve also made it a point to mention that I’m single in front of him. I’ve also done the whole stare and smile thing. The other day whilst I was on a break, he actually spent like 10-15 minutes talking to me (when he was supposed to be working) and I’ve also noticed a few times that he’s been looking at me and smiling at me. Sometimes it seems like he’s trying to flirt and sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve even mentioned how I think he’s cute in front of my other co-workers (not in front of him though). Is he just shy or is he not interested? Because I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m interested in him.

Libby

Answer:

I’m going to be honest with you Libby, I would never personally date anyone from work – especially someone who’s in my team. Simply because if things don’t pan out between the two of us, then it could get REALLY messy in the end.

Trust me, I’ve been there and DONE that so I’m speaking from experience.

But hey, if you’re still willing to take the risk then best of luck with it!

Now onto your dilemma, of course it’s quite normal to have a crush on one of your co-workers. I’ve done it myself – quite a number of times actually!

And you know what?

Based on your story, I admire your boldness when it comes to showing the guy that you’re into him – Gold star for you Libby! You go girlfriend! You know what you want and you’re going for gold. I wish every single woman is just like you, it would make life for us guys soo much easier!

So you’ve done the name flirt, the “slightly touching” technique, the “stare and smile” thing and you’ve even told some other co-workers that you think he’s cute.

Now if after all these obvious signs this guy still doesn’t get it, then either he’s as thick and as oblivious as Homer Simpson or he is just plain dumb just like an err … Lamp!

Come on, all these hints and he’s still not getting it?? This guy’s head must be made out of wood or something!

Or like you said, he could be shy, he could be intimidated by your advances. Or quite possibly, he’s just NOT INTERESTED in you.

I mean, sure there was a time wherein he “spent like 10-15 minutes talking to you (when he was supposed to be working) and you’ve also noticed a few times that he’s been looking at you and smiling at you,”but from where I’m standing, these aren’t strong telltale signs that he is in fact, interested in you.

Now if he asks you out on a date, then you’ve got something!

My basic rule when it comes to dating is to “NEVER ASSUME” anything.

You know why?

Because when you’re interested on someone, everything he does is amplified. Because you like him, a little look directed at your way, a little smile, a little touch can become magnified because of your feelings for him. You can’t trust your instincts at this point because it’s pretty one sided.

Don’t worry, this is pretty normal though, that’s why you NEVER assume he likes you. You let things flow the way they should and you only assume when – well, he’s actually trying to kiss you already or confess that he likes you.

So what should you do now?

At this point, I think it’s pretty obvious that you’ve done everything in your power to show that you’re interested in him yet he is still not budging. Now if you really want to go the extra mile, then why don’t you try organizing a friendly outing with some of your work friends?

Invite him to come, and once he does you can try to sass him out even more and get to know him better. You can try your flirting moves again to see how he reacts and you can even go as far as throw in some baiting questions such as ” let’s say for example you’ve got the hots for me, how would you ask me out?” Only then you can find out if he’s really shy or just not interested in you at all. This is also a good way to get out of the office environment so that you can interact with him in the real world.

My advice?

If this still doesn’t work and just forget about him! There’s plenty of fish in the sea, like I said – dating co-workers are typically a No-No so even if it turns out that he’s not interested in you then he’s actually doing you a favour.

Best of luck!

If you have any dating dilemma’s feel free to email your questions to: daily@starcentralmagazine.com and i’ll try to answer your question the best I can.

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