US Airways gets a NUDE awakening

by Rhianne Soriano on July 3rd, 2009 · posted in Uncategorized · No Comments

Here’s some shocking news: apparently a US Airways plane (flight 705 from Charlotte to Los Angles) was forced to divert from its original destination last Wednesday as an off the wall passenger decided to strip down to his bare butt crack!

The person in question was Keith Wright a 50 year old swinger who’s originally from New York.

One minute he’s sitting fully clothed whilst probably humming to the song “it’s getting hot in here” by Nelly – the next he’s gone all Captain Liberty and lets it all hang out in front of 148 passengers!

Talk about a BARE In-flight entertainment!

But wait, there’s more: Keith wasn’t just contented with stripping down to his bare heiny, he wanted more – a lot more! So then he got so bored that he started running around the plane like a naked piranha palming off any attempts from anyone who tried to put clothes on him.

Well, well, well … looks like Keith has locked and loaded his weapon of mass destruction and will annihilate any fool who gets in his way.

I’m assuming He probably saw the movie Borat and thought it would be cool to copy his naked misadventures. Next thing you know he’ll be picking on a random, obese hairy man to sit on his face!

Or maybe when the pilot said “Take your seatbelts off,” Keith thought of a different seatbelt – he probably thought take his belt off! So he proudly runs around thinking there you go Mr Pilot it’s all off! I’m free! I’m free! Wheeee …

Sorry, I just got carried away there for a second …

Anyway, the passengers finally had enough of the old man’s wiener flapping around like a wilted sausage so they assisted on physically restraining the naked old hot rod. He was ultimately handcuffed to a row of seats. The plane was then forced to reroute to Albuquerque.

“We had to physically hold him down on the floor and handcuff his ankles, his wrist,” a passenger that goes by the name of Matt McGinnis told News 13.

Another passenger on the plane, Lynette Naude also said “I fell asleep and the lady fell asleep and I woke up and she was gone and I was like oh my God this guy is naked.”

Basically she’s saying “I fell asleep and the lady fell asleep and I woke up and she was gone and I was like oh my naked Borat and Bruno- there’s a wiener on the loose!”

Mr Wright was finally arrested, whilst still in his bare ass (probably to preserve the authenticity of the situation), and was taken into custody.

The plane then proceeded to Los Angeles after Captain Liberty was detained, and the pilot stresses out “a reminder to everybody to please keep your clothing on.”

Damn right! But then I bet you that if a naked Jessica Alba started to strip and run down the plane in all her naked glory it’d be a different story altogether There will be no alarm, no arrests, and it would actually be like “Keep doing what you’re doing Jessica! Oh wait, can you run in a slightly 45 degree angle? I can’t see properly, thanks!”

But unfortunately for the passengers on the plane, this guy’s 50 year old and no one wants to see a wrinkly and raggedy dead cactus flapping around in their faces like its 1960!

*ugh*